had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
