lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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