I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
