Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
