we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
