I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
