I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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