Christians are straight up FREAKS
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
