i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
