I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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