Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You took a bar mat shot.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
