I like to think it a success when the cops are called
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
