Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
