my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
