Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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