Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
