clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
