And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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