I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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