its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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