I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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