a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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