You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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