Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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