I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
