Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
