Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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