Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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