my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
