I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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