Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
