I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
