I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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