you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
