We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
