To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
