Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
