Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
