Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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