I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
