she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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