oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
