I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
