Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
