i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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