i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
