ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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