That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
