piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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