I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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