morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So apparently I’m into choking now
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