And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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