I need to stop coming to work sober
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
